


gift rap

by reprisal (orphan_account)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Christmas Fluff, Christmas Presents, Declarations Of Love, Earth C (Homestuck), Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Pesterlog(s) (Homestuck)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:56:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27204874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/reprisal
Summary: It's Christmas Day and Dave Strider confesses to Karkat Vantas with his specialty, a rap.
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas
Comments: 3
Kudos: 27





	gift rap

**Author's Note:**

> i havent read homestuck in a while so i hope everything is still accurate and i hope i wrote the characters accurate too!!! the entire fic will be entirely in pesterlog format

DAVE: merry christmas karks   
KARKAT: GOD, CAN’T OBNOXIOUS CAROLS AND UGLY SWEATERS WAIT A WHILE LONGER? STOP TRYING TO GET ME TO PARTICIPATE IN YOUR HUMAN FESTIVITIES.  
DAVE: but i got you a pressie  
DAVE: dont you want it  
KARKAT: A “PRESSIE”?  
DAVE: yknow like a present  
KARKAT: DEPENDS. WHAT IS IT?  
DAVE: what  
DAVE: why would i tell you  
DAVE: that ruins the surprise man  
KARKAT: FINE, I GUESS YOU’RE RIGHT. I’M ASSUMING THAT MEANS YOU WANT ME TO VISIT YOUR… DWELLING.  
DAVE: hey dont call it that  
DAVE: me rose and kanaya live in an esteemed manor that peasants like you envy  
KARKAT: DAVE. YOU LIVE IN SQUALOR.  
DAVE: what no i dont  
DAVE: besides i was thinkin id come over to your place  
KARKAT: I AM NOT PREPARED FOR THIS, NOR DO I HAVE ANY OF THE GLITTERY RED AND GREEN EYESORES YOUR KIND CALLS DECORATIONS.  
DAVE: its fine my gift isnt a tangible object  
DAVE: so i can give it to you right now if you want  
KARKAT: WAIT HOLD THE EVER-LOVING FUCK UP.  
KARKAT: WHY DO YOU WANT TO COME OVER THEN?  
DAVE: uh  
DAVE: because  
KARKAT: GAH, WHATEVER. SO, YOUR “PRESSIE”?  
DAVE: ahem  
DAVE: i prepared a rap for you  
KARKAT: OH GOD.  
DAVE: milk down my fuckin pants  
DAVE: but im lack toast intoler-rants  
DAVE: oooooh shit  
DAVE: im gonna break my fast  
DAVE: to eat up on your ass  
DAVE: cuz you rant a lot and your ass is phat  
DAVE: and thats why i really like you karkat  
DAVE: boom  
DAVE: not my best material but what do you think  
KARKAT: THAT WAS FUCKING...  
KARKAT: HORRENDOUS.  
KARKAT: NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN.  
DAVE: cmon i worked really hard on that  
KARKAT: NO YOU DID NOT.  
KARKAT: WAIT THAT LAST LINE. ARE YOU FOR REAL?  
DAVE: bro im joking  
KARKAT: OH. OK.  
DAVE: im coming over because your real gift is mistletoe  
KARKAT: NO NO NO NO NO.  
DAVE: wait you know what mistletoe is  
KARKAT: NO SHIT, I WATCH ROMCOMS DAVE.  
DAVE: ok so yeah i wanna kiss you  
DAVE: your christmas gift is a kiss  
DAVE: from me  
DAVE: so what im trying to fucking say is that  
DAVE: i kinda like you  
DAVE: fucking forget it this was stupid  
KARKAT: YEAH.  
KARKAT: STUPID-LY CHARMING.  
KARKAT: YOU TRY SO DAMN HARD. IT’S… DARE I SAY… PITIFUL?  
KARKAT: AND I DON’T THROW THAT WORD AROUND CARELESSLY  
DAVE: wait you really think that  
DAVE: are you saying i as a person am pitiful or the act of my failed attempts at wooing you pitiful  
KARKAT: UHHHH BOTH?  
DAVE: wow  
DAVE: well  
DAVE: the only thing i was joking about was your ass  
DAVE: like its fucking mad ginormous that shit is bigger than your tentacle fetish hentai collection  
DAVE: its like damn girl you shit with that ass  
DAVE: but i like you for more than your  
DAVE: ass  
DAVE: obviously  
KARKAT: YOU HAVEN’T SEEN MY ASS SO THIS IS ALL HYPOTHETICAL.  
DAVE: we can change that  
KARKAT: WHAT?  
DAVE: kidding  
DAVE: im coming over now  
KARKAT: I’LL BE WAITING.  


  



End file.
